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Post by queenzod on Dec 2, 2021 6:03:49 GMT
Aw, thank you for such kind words! It’s true that being in an active addiction is like struggling in quicksand. It’s one huge cycle of using then the inevitable shame and regret which leads to using again because those feelings are so untenable and it’s incredibly difficult to get out of. It doesn’t even take will to stop, it’s something different than that. For me, I finally figured out if I didn’t *start* I wouldn’t have to stop! And eventually I learned to think about how I would feel afterwards if I did drink or smoke and that wasn’t good so it was added impetus to not start. Then I started building some momentum and I didn’t want to break my streak, and then I started feeling better in general and could make better decisions from a more conscious place. But it really is one day at a time, and sometimes it’s one minute at a time!
I appreciate you. 🤗
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Post by mllemass on Dec 2, 2021 6:26:57 GMT
Why would anyone ever tell you to shut up? You need to feel free to speak up and say anything you want!
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Post by mllemass on Dec 2, 2021 6:59:27 GMT
My last boss did it all the time. He'd ask me a question then, as I began to answer, would tell me to just shut up whilst rolling his eyes. It's kind of stuck with me I think. Oh my God - how horrible! The closest I got to a boss doing that was when I questioned my budget getting cut when I knew we had received a government grant to expand my department. I guess I caught my boss off guard, because she didn’t know that I knew about the grant, and she was all flustered when I brought it up. I remember that she stood up and said “End of discussion!”, which was her “nice” way of saying “Shut up and get out!” But I ignored her and calmly continued talking anyway. No one is going to tell ME to be shut up! (By the way, she wouldn’t have gotten away with hiding that grant money from me, anyway. Her plan had been to take that money and put it into another department, and she figured I’d never find out. But our government is more clever than that! To make sure that the grant money was used as it was intended, there were detailed, complicated reports and spending proposals to submit before we ever received any of it. And guess whose job it was to do all of that? Mine, of course.)
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Post by queenzod on Dec 2, 2021 7:01:37 GMT
I often look at addiction as the *lack* of choice. It’s a compulsion, you can’t help yourself, you just do it. So part of the early process is taking that power back and discovering you actually do have a choice over your behaviors. And that comes from realizing you don’t have a choice when it comes to this or that substance, you just want to do as much as you can get get your hands on. So it’s kind of a paradox and you can’t just muscle your way through because addiction is always smarter than you are, more crafty, more persistent. Your ability to choose comes from understanding that you can’t choose to do that substance “normally.” Anyway, that’s what it’s like for me. Other people prolly do it differently.
I used to get so angry at all those male politicians sleeping around on their wives, but I brought myself up short when I realized that I have behaviors I can’t control, too. So I understand them a little better but I just wish they’d be less hypocritical about it.
If anyone here ever tells you to shut up I’ll go full Phil Burbank. I have poor emotional regulation, too. 😂😂😂
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Post by Hannah Lee on Dec 26, 2021 21:13:50 GMT
I’m replying here instead of the TPOTD Reviews thread to allow that to go back on topic 😃
Thanks so much everyone! 🥰
Today was a much better day. I got my COVID test results last night and I’m negative- yay! My sister is still asymptomatic and no other family tested positive.
And then today I participated in the annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count which meant I got to tromp around outside all day looking for birds … on the beach looking out over the ocean, through the salt marsh, through the woods up and down hills, along a big river, over farmland, in very good company.
We found 74 species which is pretty good here in Massachusetts in December, especially given we had a specific assigned territory which didn’t include the nearby wildlife refuge and state parks which have the most diversity. And it snowed a little overnight so everything looked like a winter wonderland! Being in nature is so healing, so even though I was a bit windblown and cold and tuckered out by the end, I feel so much better.
I’m off to make a hot cup of tea ☕️
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Post by dickens38 on Dec 26, 2021 23:55:04 GMT
That's the spirit. A nice cup of tea cures a multitude of problems.
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Post by queenzod on Jan 2, 2022 15:33:49 GMT
I don’t usually make New Years resolutions either but this year I made one; to not get sucked into Twitter threads of outrage and gloom. It’s so easy to click on one and start reading all the screaming. My mental health has not been good over the last year (I’ve always had anxiety and a cynical, pessimistic attitude, so I’m trying to back out of one of those threads when I find myself in one. It’s a tint resolution but I’m going to try to focus on more positive things. 😃👍🏼
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Post by queenzod on Jan 2, 2022 17:26:20 GMT
Lol had to back out of 6 threads already this morning. I’m in before I realize it. 😂
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Post by gingerale on Jan 23, 2022 5:38:57 GMT
gingerale It's no fair that real life has pulled you away! LOL! I'm so used to waking up to updates from you that your absence feels weird. Come back to the dark side, mwahahahaha! Hello!!! I'm back!!! Sorry for being absent for so long - long story short, my ENTIRE household (i.e. me and my housemates) caught COVID. I was fortunately asymptomatic mostly (just some sniffles), which is probably because I got boosted recently. But it also meant I became the resident homemaker while everyone else languished in their rooms. It got so busy that I really was too tired to check in on BC stuff! Luckily everyone's doing a little better now and things are calming down, so here I am. I hope you've all been well! Can't wait to catch up on everything. I've genuinely missed all of your cheerful, funny posts!
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Post by gingerale on Jan 23, 2022 6:54:56 GMT
You are so sweet @jbc! I've missed your kind words. And don't worry, there was lots of (yuck) work too, LOL. Hope you've been doing ok! I can certainly see how persistent the symptoms are - all of my housemates still haven't gotten their taste and smell back yet, and I've read it can take up to several weeks to return. Honestly I think the most exhausting thing is thinking about how we're STILL LIVING LIKE THIS two years after COVID first popped up. I'm looking forward to having a week of rest and self-care though, once my housemates are well enough to do chores again, haha. I'm already enjoying catching up on what I've missed, but maybe also a little relieved we're starting to see the end of it (Oscar noms in 2 weeks! Omg!). I don't think I could take another heart attack while following live GG/SAG updates, LOL. Mostly I'm just so happy everyone in the team is being recognized and celebrated! One of my friends was sweet enough to send me that NYT article where Dargis and Scott both "nominated" BC for Best Actor, and I knew that things were coming along just fine
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