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Post by coolclearwaters on Oct 7, 2017 22:27:22 GMT
I didn’t blame anyone for not coming forward. I just said ‘ good for him’. I’m sure people are terrified.
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Post by MagdaFR on Oct 7, 2017 22:56:20 GMT
I'm sick of the Trump supporters using this when they voted for Trump.
I'm sick also of people elevating (?) Weinstein to serial rapist. Maybe he was/is but the harassement published by the newspaper didn't include rape. The worst story is the masturbating one.
The only one I read who "talked" about rape is Rose McGowan. I still don't understand why she made many films with Weinstein after the alleged rape. Also, she had years to think and talk about this and now she is demanding the "Hollywood ladies" to speak up.
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Post by queenzod on Oct 7, 2017 23:24:25 GMT
I don't know Roses story, but maybe she continued working with him because it wasn't a violent rape. I think lots of rapes are men cajoling, pleading, and not giving up, and the woman goes along with it to shut him up or they're ambivalent about it. Not until years later do they realize what actually happened. This may not be the case at all with her and HW, but in social media now there's this tendency to paint all stories with the same extreme brush. However it played out, it's a nasty story and people shouldn't be shamed if they don't want to speak up about it. Or if they do.
This, added to our US lawmakers banning late term abortions and allowing employers to opt out of birth control coverage, is making me very angry at Men today. It's like we've gone backwards 100 years.
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Post by coolclearwaters on Oct 7, 2017 23:25:48 GMT
Actually, she's been talking about it for several years and, without naming him by name, has made it very clear exactly who she was talking about ...and she has been called 'crazy' and every name in the book. People keep working with their abusers and/or accept settlements because they think if they don't they will be destroyed - professionally, financially, and personally. They are probably right. We're talking about a man who can throw a reporter down a flight of stairs and beat him up while cameras flash and no one reports on what they have seen or publishes the photos. The vulnerable probably also think that if they fight back they will be regarded as troublemakers by other powerful people in the industry.
I agree that most of what has been described sounds more like extreme sexual harassment than rape.
HW has made a lot of enemies in the industry and has viciously bullied competitors for years. I think the main reason this is coming out now is because his company is suffering financially and his competitors finally see him as weak enough to go after. There's blood in the water.
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Post by sgev1977 on Oct 7, 2017 23:43:26 GMT
Agreed with coolclearwater. Also she was very young and with a vey untestable life. Abusers tend to chose vulnerable young women. I’m sure she understood what really happened to her after years.
Also she clearly fought him with a very private lawsuit. It should had been frustrated for her because that privacy was clearly just for his benefit. Whatever happened between them she clearly wasn’t satisfied with the money he gave her for the settlement.
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Post by sgev1977 on Oct 8, 2017 1:55:36 GMT
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Post by onebluestocking on Oct 8, 2017 6:26:57 GMT
If some women aren't speaking out, they may not have had the same experience with HW. He targets 20-something girls, not a Meryl Streep or Nicole Kidman with long, successful career and power of their own. They can hardly speak about someone else's situation that they have no knowledge of. It's reasonable if they decided to let the case develop and facts speak for themselves.
But it isn't a rape if she went along with it? I noticed in the original article, one woman described rejecting his advances for an hour! Long before that point, it should be clear that he didn't invite you for a business meeting and it is best to walk out! He probably gets off on badgering women and making them uncomfortable that way. Otherwise he would look for willing partners.
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Post by mllemass on Oct 8, 2017 7:28:08 GMT
I'm going to give this one more try! I've written and deleted this so many times the past few days, and I've had sleepless nights thinking about it - like right now.
About 20 years ago, I was a victim of sexual harassment and I have never reported it. I've only ever told two people about it, and even then I have never been able to repeat what he said to me. The amount of shame I felt at the time, and still feel now, doesn't make sense because I know I didn't do anything wrong. He was in a position of authority and older than my father, and had been a mentor and a father-figure to many of us. We trusted him and admired him.
The first person I told was a co-worker who was much more "worldly" than I was. She was appalled by what he had done and assured me that it certainly was not a normal or acceptable way for a man to behave.
About 10 years later, I tried to bring up the subject with a colleague who had been around when the harassment took place. But he thought I was just overreacting to harmless flirting.
Not long after that, I met someone who had also been harassed by the same man. It was such a massive relief to find out I wasn't the only one! But I also felt horrible knowing that I could have stopped him from doing it to others if I had reported it. Who knows how many other women he targeted over the years?
So that's a very short version of my story. I never really think about it anymore, except for times like this when it's so much in the news. I do understand why women wait years to report harassment, and why some never report it.
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Post by queenzod on Oct 8, 2017 9:04:02 GMT
Unfortunately, Mllemass, yours is an all too common tale. I was sexually harassed at age 16 by my boss, who would pinch my butt and make lewd comments. There are other instances in my life, too, of men behaving badly, in college and other work environments. Women put up with it for any number of reasons. It really is appalling, and too many people are unsure of what harassment actually entails. If it's unwanted it's wrong, but it's also incumbent on the person being harassed to say something, which is not always an easy thing. More education is needed.
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Post by sgev1977 on Oct 8, 2017 11:50:11 GMT
Yes, sadly is very common.
We have a similar situation at work. A boss who was awful in all senses also used to do nasty sexual comments and “accidentally” touched in an inappropriate way to at least two female co-workers. Me and others actually did speak out. I knew it was the correct thing to do but it’s not easy. Even there you feel they would underestimate your accusations or worse, you would lose your job! I didn’t but they surely underestimated the situation: “He is like that but he is not bad. He is just joking!. I know him. But don’t worry I would tell him but you are misunderstanding!” Worse the secretary of the boss of our boss, was so indignant when even him dared to joke that it seemed we were protesting because we wanted they guy actually “doing” something instead of just teasing us! that she not just protested directly to him about the comment and informed us! At the end the guy ended bad but I’m not sure if it was because the harassment accusations or because he was all around an inept. Sadly I think it was just the latter. The point is speak out wasn’t easy and it was very frustrating. The consequences weren’t immediate so we had to work with him as nothing had happened for months after that and even when it wasn’t so serious like other cases described here it was until certain degree humiliating. It was the right thing to do and I would do it again but I understand why some women can’t do it or wait to long for doing it. You are in a very confusing position and know some people would not take you seriously or would want to ignore the problem until they can do something discretely.
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