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Post by coolclearwaters on Oct 17, 2017 18:27:00 GMT
I don’t think that’s how things work in the workplace with people who are in a position of power over you - at least not any i’ve ever been in.
I agree that the obsession with micro-aggressions is silly, but is that what we’re talking about here? Is anything that isn’t actually illegal just a micro-aggression? Many terrible things that are grounds for a civil lawsuit are not actually something for which criminal charges can be filed.
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Post by onebluestocking on Oct 17, 2017 18:30:51 GMT
Yes and no. For example, it was once acceptable to use any number of offensive terms, jokes, etc. Much of that was being left behind in the past. Now in the case of the US with Trump, some people have begun to feel it's acceptable again because they think a leader they look up to, who has large crowds of supporters, speaks this way. Regarding the KKK, they are getting the largest crowds and most attention in years with a racist, sexist bully in the white House. Society is in danger of backsliding if people decide "well, it can't be helped."
I said "people around him stared uncomfortably or even commented 'not funny', instead of pretending to laugh or just ignoring it". Not "the offender should be fought like a major criminal."
Agreed if the person is inclined to rational thinking. So, stand up to bullies with whatever your arsenal! If rational explanations work, great! If telegraphing to the person that their comments/behavior is not acceptable in polite society, great! Everyone can do something is my point.
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Post by onebluestocking on Oct 17, 2017 18:47:46 GMT
Maybe "microagressions" was the wrong term for me to use and that's causing a misunderstanding. I meant that HW probably did not change from a normal person to a sexual predator overnight. It probably went like "I'll catcall Girl #1," "I'll stare rudely at Girl #2," "I'll make very slightly inappropriate comments about Girl #3," "I'll be a little more aggressive with Girl #4," and so on until we see the guy today.
I'm saying, we don't just overlook Girls #1, 2, 3 and 4 until we get to Girl #500, because it wasn't bad enough so it was too silly to worry about.
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Post by coolclearwaters on Oct 17, 2017 18:55:12 GMT
I agree that it probably started off slowly and built, just as his abuse of power probably developed the same way - “I screamed at and humiliated this person and nothing happened ...maybe I can do it to that person, too.”
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Post by coolclearwaters on Oct 17, 2017 18:57:01 GMT
I wish more people would take the Carrie Fisher approach.
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Post by mllemass on Oct 17, 2017 19:17:18 GMT
I can tell you my reason for not standing up to a workplace bully.
I once had a manager who made it clear that she hated me. I'm not someone who needs love from my superiors, but I certainly didn't deserve the way she treated me. She would scream at me like a lunatic - in front of others - when she didn't like something I'd done. I never once saw her do this to others. In fact, my co-workers seemed to like her, so there was no one I could talk to. I decided to deal with it by keeping away from her .
But one day, she cornered me in the hallway to scream at me, so I just turned and walked away. She followed me into the lunch room and continued screaming in front of a room full of people. I was mortified! Again, I said nothing and walked away. I went to my office and cried. But that night I made up my mind that I had to put an end to it and tell my boss what was happening.
The next day we had a big meeting, and I was a nervous wreck planning what I would say to my boss after the meeting. All my planning was for nothing, though! Moments before our meeting began, that crazy manager stood up and said she had something to share with us. She was in tears, and said that she'd just had a phone call from her brother telling her that after years of battling cancer, he was finally cancer-free. Everyone was now crying and all my co-workers got up to hug her and tell her how happy they were for her. And I just sat there. How could I complain about her to my boss now? So I never did tell on her.
It's kind of funny that several years later, I ended up working at a place where she was the boss, and everyone hated her. But she seemed so happy to have me there and actually introduced me to the others as though we were old friends. Indeed, I was the only familiar - and friendly - face in a hostile environment, so I ended up getting preferential treatment! I suppose in the long run, not "burning bridges" worked out in my favour.
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Post by ellie on Oct 17, 2017 19:39:09 GMT
I think it depends on the workplace. Standing up to bullies is never easy but, if you work for a large corporation it tends to be slighly easier as they have specific HR policies governing work place behaviour.
However if you work for a small company then it can be really problematic - especially if its a family business. I know somebody who was given a really hard time by the MD of the business she worked for. She could have reported it to the Chairman. Only the Chairman was the MD's Mother who happened to think the sun shone out of her boys every orifice!
Likewise Miramax started out as a family business where the Weinstein brothers ruled supreme. Who were the victims going to complain to if they wanted the company ethos to change?
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Post by sgev1977 on Oct 17, 2017 20:26:52 GMT
Peter Biskind actually said bullying (he didn't talked about harassment although now he says he knew) was much more worst in the indie companies than in big Hollywood studios. He said something like big studios discharged you but in a nice way giving you flowers and presents and saying sorry. Meanwhile Indies murder you and all your family! So yes, small companies could be worst managing abuse, especially when it's the owner who is doing the abuse! I still thinking this go beyond Weinstein and that's why it was so normalized. Jennifer Lawrence and Reese Witherspoon have just reveled they were abused by producers and a director respectively when they were underage! Also a female producer has accused Bob Weinstein of harassing, too! EDITED: fortune.com/2017/10/17/reese-witherspoon-jennifer-lawrence/This clearly is systematic in Hollywood. |
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Post by sgev1977 on Oct 17, 2017 21:10:43 GMT
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Post by dreamsincolour on Oct 17, 2017 21:29:39 GMT
The head of Amazon Studios, Roy Price, has just resigned further to allegations of sexual harassment there.
Joan Collins was on television this morning too, talking about the sexual harassment that she experienced years ago and saying that it's completely endemic in the entertainment world.
I wondered if the fuss might be a flash in the pan, with Weinstein taking the fall and other endemic abuse being swept back under the carpet again. But it seems to be gaining impetus every day, with more people coming forward to extend the public perception of the reach of the problem. I'm starting to think that a lot of people may be starting to shake in their boots at the prospect of the facility to abuse that was taken for granted now coming back to haunt them.
And I'm also wondering who the 3 actresses are whose stories have become criminal investigations here (UK) now. The Lysette Anthony rape is certainly one of them, but the other two people involved still haven't been named. And they must be serious allegations to have been been escalated to criminal cases as they have. And they must be pretty famous names too, one supposes.
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